I recently had a conversation with a classmate, in which she shared that her fiancé cheated on her. She was devastated and couldn’t understand how it could be, since they both attend church together and their families are very close, how could he do such a thing.
I look at this scenario and I think, now what type of advice will people give her, will it be one that basically kills the relationship all together or one that helps to try and strengthen what was taken away and a way to work to rebuild it.
As Christians we are held to a higher standard, we aren’t allowed to make mistakes, nor even think of embracing a sin. But what people, non-Christian, and also Christians, do not understand is that men, are tempted beyond belief. The devil knows that if he wants to wreck a home, start with the man of the house. Now I am not condoning the mistakes that men make that lead to the failures of their families, but I do want to shed some light on the actions of men and how if we throw these men out, as we say in NY “If we KICK them to the curb”, what we are showing them. We are not showing the compassion that God shows us when we fail, and we all do. Who are we to judge those that fall off their path with God? Are we any better than they are? Does it matter the type of sin we commit? Because one person cheats on his mate and another one lies to his brother, is one held at a higher standard?
But what men also do not understand, is as we lie and try to get away with a sin, we are slowing fading in deeper.
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Lyrics by Casting Crowns, “Slow Fade”.
Wow, strong lyrics, “People never crumble in a day”, is so true, because men take themselves on this new journey assuming it is all good and that they are living out their fantasy’s, but what they do not understand is that they are slowly fading in deeper and deeper and slowly falling away from God and away from their families. It is a devastating journey that will not end well for anyone.
But as I stated above, men are tempted because the devil knows that if a man falls, the whole house will come crumbling down. The woman will not be able to trust him again, the kid’s lives will be changed forever, and no one benefits from it. But how do we avoid such a thing, how do we fight the devil on this one. I believe we as men need to give our hearts fully to God. We must fear God first before we fear what will happen to our relationships. We can not take them for granted, nor can we take God for granted.
Recently it was made public that Tiger Woods bedded many women while he was married. As I do not condone his actions, I do feel sorry for him, because if he would have had God in his heart, he may have thought twice about his actions, and may have realized that when we sin, eventually the truth all comes out. God doesn’t allow us to live in the closet forever, because when the truth is revealed, that is the only way for true healing.
Now should a man be truly forgiven for the sin he has committed, even though it has totally ruined his home. I believe so, because then what are we saying to those that fail, “Hey God may forgive you, but I can’t”. Then what we are telling God, “God please forgive me for my own transgressions, but I am sorry, I can not forgive those that have hurt me”. I think we all fit in this category, including myself, and forgiving those that have hurt us is so difficult, but if we do not, then we can not move on with God. We can not ask, take at the same time and not be willing to give. It is very easy, but hard to do.
The purpose of this blog entry is not to condone a man for the actions that he takes which will ruin his life and devastate others. The purpose of this entry is to bring understanding that we all make mistakes, that if we truly go to God and ask for his forgiveness, why must we still be judged by others. We can not live our lives by what the world says and views, we must live our lives by what God says and his rules and ways. I believe that if every man were to grasp that thinking, we would see less and less of the mistakes that men make and a more willingness to not take our family for granted and as well as God.
Remember this one thing, we all make mistakes and how we are judged for our mistakes will determine how we are able to live our lives. But one thing is certain, that without God in the forefront, we will continue to fall and the devil will continue to prosper.
Remember that the Temptations that come into your life are no different from what others experience, and God is faithful. He will keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you can’t stand up against it. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you will not give into it.