Monday, March 08, 2010

God Forgives Mistakes

I recently had a conversation with a classmate, in which she shared that her fiancé cheated on her. She was devastated and couldn’t understand how it could be, since they both attend church together and their families are very close, how could he do such a thing.

I look at this scenario and I think, now what type of advice will people give her, will it be one that basically kills the relationship all together or one that helps to try and strengthen what was taken away and a way to work to rebuild it.

As Christians we are held to a higher standard, we aren’t allowed to make mistakes, nor even think of embracing a sin. But what people, non-Christian, and also Christians, do not understand is that men, are tempted beyond belief. The devil knows that if he wants to wreck a home, start with the man of the house. Now I am not condoning the mistakes that men make that lead to the failures of their families, but I do want to shed some light on the actions of men and how if we throw these men out, as we say in NY “If we KICK them to the curb”, what we are showing them. We are not showing the compassion that God shows us when we fail, and we all do. Who are we to judge those that fall off their path with God? Are we any better than they are? Does it matter the type of sin we commit? Because one person cheats on his mate and another one lies to his brother, is one held at a higher standard?

But what men also do not understand, is as we lie and try to get away with a sin, we are slowing fading in deeper.

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Lyrics by Casting Crowns, “Slow Fade”.

Wow, strong lyrics, “People never crumble in a day”, is so true, because men take themselves on this new journey assuming it is all good and that they are living out their fantasy’s, but what they do not understand is that they are slowly fading in deeper and deeper and slowly falling away from God and away from their families. It is a devastating journey that will not end well for anyone.

But as I stated above, men are tempted because the devil knows that if a man falls, the whole house will come crumbling down. The woman will not be able to trust him again, the kid’s lives will be changed forever, and no one benefits from it. But how do we avoid such a thing, how do we fight the devil on this one. I believe we as men need to give our hearts fully to God. We must fear God first before we fear what will happen to our relationships. We can not take them for granted, nor can we take God for granted.

Recently it was made public that Tiger Woods bedded many women while he was married. As I do not condone his actions, I do feel sorry for him, because if he would have had God in his heart, he may have thought twice about his actions, and may have realized that when we sin, eventually the truth all comes out. God doesn’t allow us to live in the closet forever, because when the truth is revealed, that is the only way for true healing.

Now should a man be truly forgiven for the sin he has committed, even though it has totally ruined his home. I believe so, because then what are we saying to those that fail, “Hey God may forgive you, but I can’t”. Then what we are telling God, “God please forgive me for my own transgressions, but I am sorry, I can not forgive those that have hurt me”. I think we all fit in this category, including myself, and forgiving those that have hurt us is so difficult, but if we do not, then we can not move on with God. We can not ask, take at the same time and not be willing to give. It is very easy, but hard to do.

The purpose of this blog entry is not to condone a man for the actions that he takes which will ruin his life and devastate others. The purpose of this entry is to bring understanding that we all make mistakes, that if we truly go to God and ask for his forgiveness, why must we still be judged by others. We can not live our lives by what the world says and views, we must live our lives by what God says and his rules and ways. I believe that if every man were to grasp that thinking, we would see less and less of the mistakes that men make and a more willingness to not take our family for granted and as well as God.

Remember this one thing, we all make mistakes and how we are judged for our mistakes will determine how we are able to live our lives. But one thing is certain, that without God in the forefront, we will continue to fall and the devil will continue to prosper.

Corinthians 10:13
Remember that the Temptations that come into your life are no different from what others experience, and God is faithful. He will keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you can’t stand up against it. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you will not give into it.


Al Diaz said...

I agree we are quick to judge and that it is hard to forgive, but we know we depsperately want to be forgiven. Forgive is defined as giving up resentment. The problem is not always forgiveness, it is Trust.
Great writing

David said...

I'm impressed Dave...You are a very talented writer....You should persure a career in publishing, think about it.

Anonymous said...


You have a powerful unique mind that you should share in a temple with as many people as you can fit into it.
You were born to preach!

Maybe someday we will build a temple for you.
You will have many followers!

Love Your Aunt Mary

Anonymous said...

I agree with what you could't have written it better.
the devil is at full force when it comes to temptation.we have to be strong within yourselfs.and trust that god will lead us in the right direction.for ourselves and our familys.

your friend, Mike.R

Anonymous said... when I began to read this, my initial feelings were of anger. (I guess that is what is considered "norm" in the world today) How can one accept another's infidelity? However, when you bring the word into it, it puts everything into perspective. My feelings of anger immediately changed. (Aha...remember to live like him...think like him...feel like him)

Thanks for this David.

D.A.C. said...

I am not sure who wrote this, but "How can we accept one's Infidelity", but in our human nature we can not. It is only by God's Grace and understanding does he allow us to forgive. We are supposed to forgive and forget and I think that is the hard part because we fear that we will be hurt again, but God takes care of everything and if the person who wronged us has truly gone to God and asked for forgiveness, then it is up to us to also forgive that person. God understands it all and he will not allow us to continue to get hurt, that is why as it states in 1 Corinthians 10:13, he give the person a way out, the strength to stand up against their failures, but if they choose not to do so, they will have to deal with God and all the consequences.

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure what to take from this, David....I have known many friends and family who have had the similar situation of infidelity in their relationships, and although some have stayed with their partner...others have chosen to part ways because of the respect demanded in these situations or lack thereof. I often (after so many decades of marriage) wondered if something as such would have happened in my life, how I would deal to resolve it. You can forgive and maybe somehow forget, but the nagging (devilish) hurt and pain is there forever, I am sure. The devil does not only tempt the man, he also destroys the whole basis of a good relationship, which are trust and faith, and that is exactly what the devil wants to do. God on the other hand, loves us, forgives us and moves us towards doing His will. More times than none, we fail to make the right choices, but he continues to guide us in the righteous path. Temptation is everywhere and comes in many formats. What we need to do instead of judging and pointing fingers, is to pray for the person who is losing to the devil. Pray for their healing. That's how we forgive. Thanks for the insightful message though. your cus Lillie

D.A.C. said...

One note, because people are asking, NO I did not cheat on my wife. I chose to write this entry because of the conversation I had with my classmate and the understanding that we are all tempted one way or another and the only way to total healing is through God.
I write to try and inspire and help others in what they may be going through or have gone through in their own lives. I pray that what I share can possibly help others and God can use me for his will. I am not perfect, but I follow after a perfect God.

D.A.C. said...

@ My Cus Lillie - I agree with your comment and I want to thank you for it.

I too have seen infidelity in my family and as I look back now and think, if they would have truly had God in their hearts could things have been different. Could they have truly worked things out. When two people marry it is for better or worse, good times or bad times. I do not have a perfect marriage, but God united us two together and no matter what comes our way, we must fight to keep the love going and our marriage together and if it wasn't for God, I do not know where we would be now.

I understand in some relationships there is no turning back, people just don't want to try. And yes, the Devil does ruin not only the person, but the whole family. But God is the Restorer. He restores families, relationships and changes people. We also must be willing to allow him to change us. If a person is unwilling, then ofcourse there probably is no hope. A person can not subject themselves to that pain, but God is hope. I know it isn't as easy as it sounds, but by his word, it is. With him it is. It just takes work. Love is worth fighting for, no matter the circumstance. We are all not perfect, but he still makes a way for all of us.

There is no absolute with what I am saying, everyone is allowed their own opinion, but if we give up on our marriages, who else is going to fight for us.