I just wanted to share this letter that I wrote to my aunt. She sent my son, Christopher, a card and wrote to him, that we need Christ in our lives and that my son is a blessing to me and Lina and that we had been praying for him for a long time. It just touched my heart and I wanted to share it what I wrote to her.
I just wanted to share something with you. I read your card to Christopher again, and the point you made about us needing Jesus in our lives is so right. Reading your card really overwhelmed me, because it brought me back to those days of crying, praying, wishing that God would answer our prayers, the desires of our heart to become parents. These past 7 years of not knowing if Lina and I would ever be parents, have gone so fast, but when you are in the mist of it all, it seems like it will never end. You feel that your prayers are not being answered or that maybe that is not what God wants for your life. So you learn to just accept it, even though deep down inside you are hurting because you truly want this. You truly want to be a parent. You start to realize that you will really appreciate the opportunity if it is ever given to you.
When you are in the mist of your trial, you don’t understand the hold up, but when you are finally given the greatest gift that God has for you, then you finally see the whole picture. You finally realize how precious it is to become a parent. How not everyone will receive this gift. How long you have struggled and waited, so that when you finally get it, you are so overjoyed and overwhelmed, that it does not seem real. I look at Christopher every day and still I am in awe that he is mine. That God entrusted Lina and me with his little precious life. You are so connected to this little life, it doesn’t seem real. You finally realize the love that a parent feels for their child, you finally realize that your life is now complete, that all you have been working for and praying for is finally here for you to love and cherish.
I look back and that part of my life seems so far off. All God ever asked of me was to worship him and put him first in my life. It doesn’t matter that I am not perfect, it doesn’t matter that I have my faults, all that matters is that he wanted me to love him, worship him, and trust in him. Allow him to work in my life and allow him the time to do what he needed to do, his way not my way. It was a long journey, but one that I would do all over again, because by trusting in God, he has given me and Lina the greatest gift we could ever ask for.
Annie, your card just embraced all that I had been feeling. Each day I wake up, and I am so overwhelmed with Christopher. Each day I look at him, and just think, “WOW, he is ours and no one will take him away”. Each day I look at him, I can’t believe that he will get older and start to talk and finally say those three little letters that I have dreamed of hearing, “DAD”. I finally will experience the joy of parenthood. Praise be to God!!!! We definitely need God in our lives, because he makes us so much better. He watches over us and protects us and blesses us. If we live life his way, than we will have nothing to worry about.
I loved what you wrote, it just put everything into perspective. I will never forget the gift God gave us, gave to this family. Just when you thought it could never happen, God does a miraculous thing and blesses us all with his little angel.